Really? Really??

So, since my weight loss was going so well, of course something has come along to derail it. Around week 13 I saw my family doc, who was beyond thrilled with my loss at that point. He's the one who referred me to Dr Poon in the first place, and he confessed he never expected me to have such success. High fives all around.

Until he opened my file to look at my recent test results.

No more Poon for Sonia.

So, for a few years I've know about some kidney issues, namely that Righty was shrunken and misshapen. As of now, he's AWOL. No, really. I had an ultrasound that lasted longer than an hour and she could not find it at all. I asked if my girthiness was adding to the problems, and with a glare she showed me how quickly she could find Lefty, my bladder, gallbladder and uterus. Chub was not a factor, and in her professional opinion Righty was not there. Lefty, however, was giant. My personal theory is that Lefty sensed Righty's inherent weakness and ate him, but I'll leave it to the doctors to decide.

Additionally, my liver isn't looking all that happy. And it has a nodule. Doesn't seem to be a big deal, but definitely needs further investigation.

So, since Pooning is taxing on both of the aforementioned organs, I've been put in time out. I've switched over to Weight Watchers which now seems like a smorgasbord. Really? I can have a sandwich AND some fruit for lunch? AND a salad? Bliss! (And can we talk for a minute about how great fruit is? Cause it's GREAT!!) Even with WW I'm supposed to take it slowly, and my doc would prefer it if I just maintained until this gets sorted out.

However, after 25 years of being on diets and finally finding success, I'm having a hard time with being told to stop. It was so amazing to watch that scale go down so quickly. I'm gloriously thankful for what I did lose (43 lbs, bringing total loss to 66 lbs) and for what I gained. I gained my self respect back, and my ability to go through life with my head held high. I should have had it all along, but I truly didn't. I'd lost my ability to live an authentic life, and now I can again. I'll make it the rest of the way,  slowly, but I'll do it.

And if Lefty did in fact stage a coup on Righty, he better be willing to do the extra work. We don't take kindly to slackers around these parts.

So, I just read over a few old entries and saw something that made my shriek in happiness. When I started Pooning, I had hoped to lost 40lbs in 6 months. I'm just now about 12 weeks into it, and those 40lbs are gone! I not only reached my goal, I reached it in half the time.

I need to wrap my head around that for a minute.

I still have a looong way to go, so I'm not going to pat myself on the back too much quite yet. But it feels so good. It felt good 10 minutes ago, but it feels even better now that I know I've accomplished a challenge I set for myself. That definitely gives me the willpower to get off my butt and go buy some groceries so I can make a real dinner.

10 weeks of Poon...

37 pounds gone! Dropped, erased, obliterated, bid adieu, shed, defeated.

For once the challenge is being defeated, and not me. I LOVE that.

I had a bad bweek*, to be honest. But even as it was, I still lost 2 lbs. I didn't stay the same. I didn't gain. I'm another 2 lbs lighter than I was at the last weigh in. The scale is still going down! Clothes are getting far too big! I came across another pair of jeans that now fit, as well as some capris I've been trying to get into for months. I finally can!!

 Having said that, I'm still going to work much harder this block. I really fell off the bandwagon a few times last bweek and I wan't to rock it this time. The only thing that can stop me is me! I'm the meal planner, the grocery buyer and the chef.  Yesterday was payday so I need to go do a good shop and get the fridge full of poonerific food again. I'm nothing if not lazy, so if green beans and cucumbers are there, green beans and cucumbers are what I'll eat!

*Bweek:  New word! A period of 2 weeks.

Holy Crap! It's working!!

Who knew??

It's been 5 weeks, and I've lost...
wait for it....
OVER 25 POUNDS!!!

I know, right? Get down with my bad self!

I'm just as shocked as anyone. It's SO EASY, too. I've learned the diet backwards and forwards, so now I can break the rules to make it something I can actually live with. For example, there's a blanket 'no dairy' rule. Well, eff that. Low fat cheese is my best friend, and  allow myself 1-3oz a day. So plbbbt to them. I'm also not nearly as anal about my sodium consumption. Most people on this diet have high blood pressure and major edema and other things I'm lucky enought not to have. So while I've still switched to No Salt and use Mrs Dash for most seasoning, I'm not treating it like it's anthrax.

This 25lb loss pushed my total loss to 50lbs, which means alllll my baby weight is gone. Thank goodness!! I feel SO MUCH BETTER! For the first time in over a year, I can walk around with my head held high. My body isn't the same as it was before my belived child ruined me from the inside, but I can now look at my droopy lower tummy as a mommy war wound instead of the bane of my existance. Having said that, it's going on the chopping block the moment I give birth to my last child. I've officially started the post-baby plastic surgery fund. In the oh-so sensitive words of my husband 'Well, we knew when you got pregnant this body was going to be a write-off". Thanks, honey. Love you too.

So with all that back-patting aside,  I still have tons of weight to lose. But I feel like I've been given the secret formula, and I just have to follow it. While I would trule perform shameful acts for a baguette or some garlic bread, I'm able to keep my eyes on the goal. Every two weeks, on the day of my weigh in, I let myself have a 'Treat Day'. (Thank you Julie for introducing me to the term! It sounds so much better than Cheat Day!!) I basically starve myself before my noon appointment, but the rest of the day is free. The amazing thing is, my stomach has shrunk so much I can't even ruin my diet in only one day! Half of a personal pizza and I'm STUFFED! Hurrah!

So there you go. I'm off to have a green salad with grilled chicken.

Be! Excited! Be! Be! Excited!

You know what sucks? Eggs.

I hate eggs. I hate eggs in nearly every one of their mucousy little manifestations. As far as I'm concerned they're chicken feti and it should be taboo to consume them. Any yet there I was this morning, scrambling up a couple of those bad boys for breakfast. I think I managed 4 bites before passing them over to my kid.

I, Klassymomma, have started an intense, doctor supervised weight loss program, and have to learn to like eggs. As of today I am on a high protein, low fat, looooow carb diet. It sucks. I hate it. I want an apple. My kingdom for an apple!

Normally I hate the idea of radical diets. I personally feel that your weight loss program needs to be something you can stick with forever, or else the pounds are going to come back and they're bringing their friends. They're bitches like that. But after years of doing it on my own, going down 50 and up 80, down 40 and up 60, down 70 and up 100 I've decided that it's time for something drastic. It's no longer just about looking better or fitting into cute clothes (though I CAN'T WAIT to get my butt into some nice jeans!), but about being able to run around with my kid. He EXHAUSTS me! I was so impressed when he took his first step at 7 months. Now I look back and see it as the last calm day of my life. I love him so much, and he deserves a mom who lives life to the fullest instead of being trapped in a fat suit.

So for you, Dawson, I am changing my life. You damnwell better appreciate it when you're older!

It's 2pm on day 1 and I'm thus far successful. Scrambled eggs for breakfast, a salad with cucumber and bean sprouts for a snack (what can I say, I haven't really shopped for this adventure yet) and another salad with grilled chicken for lunch. Crystal Light lemonade with breakfast (my feeble attempt to replicate my beloved, verboten orange juice) and coke zero with lunch. I'm resigned to the fact I'll be living on chicken and asparatame for the next 6 months.

Yes, 6 months. I'm signing up for this for 6 months. It seems like a long time, but really, in the grand scheme of things it's not. I'm 27, that's 54 6-month periods I've lived through. I can spend one devoting my efforts to serious weight loss. In those 6 months, I'd love to lose at least 40lbs. I don't think that's impossible, or irrational. I know that I, and only I, have complete control over how successful this is.

I don't plan on staying on this diet long term. Like I said, I hate fad diets. Eventually I want to join weight watchers, which I'll proabably be sticking with for the rest of my life. Someone once told me that losing weight is easy, it's keeping it off that's hard. I believe it. But I can do it. I need to do it. I will do it.

I will do it.

I am doing it.





I really want an apple.

A love letter....

...to Anthony Wiggle.

Oh Anthony, the wiggle in blue. The leader. The Grand Poobah. The Leonardo to the rest of the Ninja Turtles. In your tight black jeans, rocking out on your red guitar. You trigger my gaydar, but in that 'gay or foreign' way, so I can still swoon. And I will. *Swoon!*

I love you, Anthony Wiggle. I'll Wiggle and Learn with you any day of the week.